She helps me clean

September 12, 2011 By

The downstairs toilet smelt rank. Turning on the exhaust fan I removed the nappy Erin had taken off that morning and put it in the bin. After giving the room a good ten minutes to clear I went back in, unfortunately the stink was just as bad, but how could it be? There was nothing in there to cause the smell!

It turns out Erin had “helped” me clean the toilet after she’d pooed. You know, before she’d flushed the original turd down so, when I picked it up, the toilet brush was caked in poo and it reeked.

Filed Under: Parenting Two

Nose picking: what’s the deal in your house?

August 15, 2011 By

At the moment were busy teaching Erin appropriateness. That something’s are okay for adults to do, but not for kids or that it’s okay to do certain things in certain places, but not in others.

Nose picking is one of those things. In our house it’s okay to pick your nose, just not in front of company and not while we’re in public. She’s slowly starting to understand, but we still have plenty of times when a serious case of the fours takes over and she forgets. Like last Friday, when I caught her ferreting around in there like she was digging for pirates treasure–just by the by, if she were likely to find gold doubloons she could go for her life.

So I’m wondering today, where you stand on this most nasal of issues. Is a quick pick out of the question in your house or is a desecrate excavation okay? Let me know in the comments.

Filed Under: Parenting Two

Helping toddlers cope with a new sibling

August 10, 2011 By

Despite our best efforts I think having a little sister has been hard on Erin. At three she’s a child who is very used to being an “only” which is what she was always intended to be. Because of this and, in no small part, the issues surrounding her birth and infancy she’s been made a big deal of so, when we found out we were expecting we set into motion a plan to make the transition as painless as possible.

Explaining the birth

If I can toot my own horn, something we did really well was explaining the birth. At first we stuck to the basics because we weren’t sure how much Erin would need to know. What we told her was “Mama is going to go to the hospital and the doctor is going to help the baby come out of her tummy”, thinking this would be enough. It wasn’t.

She was very keen to know more and kept asking. So, as time passed, we told her more and more until she knew everything–how I’d get medicine so I wouldn’t feel it, how the doctor was going to cut my tummy, pull the baby out and then sew me up. We even found some very basic cesarean illustrations. Though she seemed quite content with this, she continued to ask how the baby was going to get out until she was born, perhaps she’s looking for inconsistencies, perhaps that’s just what three year olds do.

Quality one on one time

Fairly early in the piece we established a bath/bed time routine that would allow me to spend one on one time with her after the baby was born. It was nothing elaborate, I would just sit with her while she bathed and then dry and dress her before reading her a story or singing a bed time song. The reality was that, because of Abi’s colic, I’ve been unable to. Her baths have ended up being rushed and definitely not the quality time I’d foreseen.

Instead of this I’ve taken as many opportunities to play with her as possible (read: “possible” being when I’m not exhausted from dealing with Abi). It doesn’t have to be a huge affair, she’s very happy to play “soccer” with me while I peg out the washing–even if Abi’s in her carrier at the time, or if I sit with her while she plays with play dough or draws.

Managing expectations

One thing Erin was very excited about was having a new playmate. She was/is looking forward to teaching her sister how to splash in the bath, kick a ball and all manner of things. These are thing I’m excited about seeing too.

Unfortunately these are things which Abi will not be capable of for several months, so instead we spent a lot of time talking about the ways Erin would help me care for her. She could get nappies or choose an outfit, she might even be able to help bathe her sister. We didn’t want Erin to be disappointed when a newborn arrived in her home instead of a new friend and we wanted her to feel as included in the process as we could.

The reality is that nothing will save you from at least a few toddler tantrums courtesy of your new bundle of joy, but allowing your older child to be involved and giving them the opportunity to know and understand what’s going to happen may just help.

Filed Under: Parenting Two Tagged With:

The Dinosaur Playhouse

August 10, 2011 By

The RBWH has an optional developmental assessment program (DAP) which assesses the progress of children who have gone through the intensive care nursery. Basically, as a parent you elect to bring your child to the hospital at two and four years for three to four hours of appointments with three different specialists who assess various parts of your child’s development. Our appointment for Erin was yesterday.

Overall I thought it all went quite well. In some areas her gross motor skills are delayed, for instance at four she cant hop, nor can she stand on one foot for more than eight seconds (even while holding on), these are things we’ll address at home through games such as hopscotch. Her fine motor skills need some addressing too and the medical doctor commented that she will always be below the charts for weight and height, but none of these things are surprises.

The fun started at the psychological assessment which turned out to be a straight intelligence test. From where I sat in the viewing room and as her mother, Erin did incredibly well, of course I could be bias.

She was asked a series of questions like “what animal says meow?” and was then shown pictures of several items and asked to find the two that go together–a horse and a cow etc. Following that she was asked some ambiguous questions which I’m sure had some point, but it escapes me. Some of the wonderful things she said include:

Psych: name two things with wheels.
Erin: a car…pizza!

Psych: This thing is in your body.
Erin: Poo!
Psych: I’ll give you another clue, this thing is in your body and it’s hard.
Erin: Poo can be hard.

Of course the was the time she farted loudly while the physio was kneeling down in front of her. She’s a gem that girl of mine and not at all embarrassing.

Now that it’s over all there is for us to do is sit back and wait for the results.

Filed Under: Parenting Two

One thing that makes you a good mum

August 10, 2011 By

This morning’s topic comes as a result of a serious family issue. I can’t talk about the specifics because of legal reasons, but the overarching theme of this issue is what it means to be a mother.

You don’t have to keep a clean house to be a good mum.
You don’t have to make your own baked goods.
You don’t have to wear make up–but wear it if you want to.
You don’t have to prescribe to a particular method of parenting.
Your kids don’t need to have the latest and greatest toy.
If you use disposable nappies that’s just fine, likewise if you choose cloth.
You don’t need to breastfeed to be a good mum.
Your kids don’t need to be advanced for their age.
It’s okay if they spend “too much” time in front of the TV or if you only bathe them every second day.
You can go out without your kids without feeling guilty.
You can take time for yourself too.

But the one thing you must, must do to be a good mum is to put their needs first. Even if that means you don’t get what you want. I’m not talking on every little issue–good mums are people too. I mean on the big things, the things that are actually important their needs must come first.

That’s it. The one thing that makes you a good mum.

What’s on your list of things that do or don’t make you a good mum?

Filed Under: Parenting Two